Tell Me What To Do!

Strategies for Cultivating Cross-Racial Relationships

2 - 6 hour workshop by Kimberlee Yolanda Williams and Debby Irving
Virtual or in-person

White folks, are you afraid to say the wrong thing? Are you afraid that what you do is going to come off as racist? Does this fear keep you from engaging in relationships across the racial divide? Does this prevent your relationships from going deeper and getting to a place of authentic engagement? Are you screaming inside, will someone just tell me what not to do, what not to say? Come learn how to move past this fear and engage in resilient bonds that can weather the intricacies of relationships we were never meant to have. We’ll offer concrete strategies, reframes, and an awareness of the historical context that can make cross-racial relationships so much harder than we’d like them to be. 

Folks of color, are you receiving inauthentic vibes from white folks and wondering what that’s all about? If you’re looking for an environment where you can be confident your truth will be heard and affirmed, and your safety will be prioritized, please know we will hold that with and for you.

TMWTD Website

Available Dates

Available by request


Cost varies based on organization type, location, and scope of work

Overview Version - 2 hours

  • Intro to how we frame the entangled issues of white supremacy, white privilege, and other forms of oppression in the context of relationships
  • Specific techniques for interrupting bias and repairing racial harm

Going Deeper Version
Online - 4 hours over two sessions; In Person - One 4-hour session

  • All of the above
  • Affinity groups for conversation practice
  • Exercises for accountability and processing
  • Bias inventory

Conversational Practice Version
Online - 6 hours over three sessions; In Person - One 6-hour session

  • All of the above
  • Examination of historical power dynamics
  • Scenarios and role plays




"The workshop provided by Debby and Kimberlee at the #WPC23 was one of the most thought-provoking and REAL workshops I have ever been to. What I learned has not only stayed a constant thought since the conference but has also motivated me to continue my work in understanding how my racist conditioning has impacted my interpersonal skills with people of color. I would love the opportunity to continue the work with Debby and Kimberlee to continue expanding that understanding and learn how to reverse the damage that has been done to my relationships with people of color." – Kristina Bechtel, La Crosse County Health and Human Services

"Debby and Kimberlee created a loving, caring and safe environment to continue the important work of anti-racism. We are all at different points in our [un]learning but want to get to the same place. They are open and honest and they support your journey." – Fredda Peritz

"Kimberlee and Debby present deep topics including whiteness, sisterhood, and responsibility in a way that is warm, demanding, and caring. Kimberlee is a beautiful soul who wants to bring people into a conversation in a way that brings sincerity and love to the forefront along with the powerful talent to not leave anything on the table. These two brought a room of full of women together in community in a short period of time and left me feeling empowered, part of something bigger than me, and the responsibility to do the same in my community." – Susan Hodges, White Privilege Conference participant
"As a white woman, fairly new on this journey, I am always excited to participate in Debby Irving’s talks, trainings, and programs. I attended the WPC session with Kimberlee and Debby and my only complaint is that it wasn’t long enough! Watching Kimberlee and Debby’s honest interactions and conversations were a true blessing. The grace that they afford each other to grow in this work is astounding and needs to be taught around the world! I left the training with a better understanding of grace and accountability. White woman need to mind their business but also speak up if we see our sister or brother of color being treated unfairly. You will not be disappointed!" – Liz, White Privilege Conference participant